Friday, August 25, 2017

...Still with the friends...

   So a few years ago I posted about making friends as an adult Here.  I re-read it after reading this piece from the Boston Globe about loneliness at the age of 40.  I posted the previous post three years ago.  I was a dad, married, nearly 34 and had only one child who was almost 2.  We were getting into routines in terms of daycare, and work and what not.  That year we decided to expand our family and the following year we added a second child and a little chaos.  I wouldn't give up my family for anything. I love my family, like my job and have a fairly good routine, but life is OKAY. Which stinks.  I sometimes wonder in envy of those that have an office to go to, or a school to go to where they see coworkers on a daily basis.  I had it at one point but gave it up for the glamorous work at home situation *noted sarcasm.* While it was great at the start, traveling around the area, always something new, meeting new people, conquering my fear of public speaking, etc; I miss the enjoyment of seeing some people everyday, catching up, venting, going out for drinks after work, playing on the softball team, things like that.  While I have made "friends" with my coworkers, it's hard to get together with them when we live so far from each other. With work and family taking up about 90% of my time I get very little time to find friends and I pose the question again.  How does an adult make friends?  We aren't part of a church, I'm not going to make friends at a bar, and my current friends (WHICH I LOVE) also have family and busy jobs so making time is one of those impossible things.  I do have a fairly regular wednesday night trivia night with friends which is fun, although our regular trivia spot closed...I MEAN COME ON. So we will have to find a new trivia spot, but once a week doesn't seem like enough time.
    Sometimes I wonder if it was the move that did it to me.  We left Maine for a few reasons but a big one was I kept seeing the same people over and over again. I would run into the same people at work that I went to high school with.  I knew I needed to get out, I was the country kid who needed to see the city.  I wanted to start over, start a new city life.  I realized NYC wasn't for me.  It was too much.  Too stimulating.  Then we moved to CT, the burbs, I mean I am sitting in Whole Foods, working and writing this blog and contemplating when I am going to be moving back to Maine where I will see the same people I work with and I went to High school with, but I will have routine. I will know people, I can get involved and immediately KNOW people.  I think that is what I need.  Well maybe soon...

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