"I'm not a social drinker I'd say most of my drinking is work related"

This picture was included in a work related email. A work related email about wellness.  I know it's meant to be funny.  I understand the humor, but also for me the personal irony connected to it made it come at a perfect time in my reflections.  I am a social drinker, I drink when I'm at home with my family.  I drink when I'm at friend's houses. I drink camping, I drink at work (after hours when I'm "in-house" with my co-worker.) I drink with a large group of people when I am at a brewery. I enjoy the social aspect of drinking alcohol. That is starting to look like a downfall.  Why do I need to drink when I am with a large group of people.  I understand the social and historic reasons but why do I, ME, need to drink. This is what I have been reflecting on the past twoish weeks or so. I am examing my drinking daily.  I am doing that thing where you hold something that you haven't used in a while in your hand and say "does this give me pleasure"?  I have been doing that and I have been watching everyone else.  Waiting for the questions. Waiting for the "why aren't you drinking" questions. They are bound to come up but they are difficult questions to ask and to discuss.  I tried to have a conversation with someone about it and it just didn't go anywhere.  I am trying. 

"All is well. All is well indeed"

I emailed someone today to share with them what I am going through. I did it because they are someone who is also going through their own spiritual journey. They are doing their own searching and looking for their own path forward.  He responded with a small anecdote about a chat with his sister talking about how their mother was with them at that moment and "all is well."  

I know this ending my drinking is something I have to do and for some reason I have to do at THIS moment in my life. Something at THIS moment is trying to make everything well.  It could be many things, it could be MY father telling me "all is well." I sat with him this past weekend and meditated for a few min.  It was what was needed and gave me a good sense of being.